Celtic begin preparations for Europa League football
Unrest was reported at Celtic Park following comments from a senior club official who, hours before the club’s first Champions League qualifying game, expressed enthusiasm for travel to the Europa League in Belarus, Moldova and Latvia, calling them “beautiful regions of the world”.
Speaking to local reporters ahead of their clash with FC Midtjylland, European excursions manager Ally McHoop downplayed the sides’ chances of qualifying for the Champions League, suggesting that Ange Postecoglou’s men have “very little chances “of beating the Danish team, and” absolutely no hope “of beating PSV Eindhoven or Galatasaray if they made it to the next round.
“The boys are looking forward to some great European excursions and exploring uncharted lands over the next few months. A top priority is getting to places where it’s even less than $ 1 a pint, the women are beautiful, and no one really knows how to pronounce the name of the local town.
“Cities like Milan, Munich and Barcelona have become too common. We are innovators here at Celtic and we couldn’t be more excited to lose 1-0 to a team that has never played football at European level.
“The sooner we come out of the Champions League and the fans are put out of their misery, the sooner we can go to Trip Advisor and start looking for unknown areas at the end of Europe’s ass.”
Following the comments, much of Celtic’s fan base would be upset that he offered a realistic perspective, with one fan telling Paddy Power News that Celtic are a giant in world football, no one else is realizes it.
“Forget the Europa League, a club like Celtic should win the Champions League, it’s that simple. We have won 104 Scottish League titles and we often go seven or eight seasons in a row without losing a game or conceding a goal.
“We take 40,000 fans every day of absence who will strip down in your parks and jump in your lakes. What other club besides the Rangers could do that?
Another fan confirmed what would happen if Celtic joined the English Premier League “We would win it, mate”.
And as a further sign that the club expect to have a busy schedule on Thursday night in the coming months, head coach Ange Postecoglous has had to cancel plans to teach an Australian nightclub for beginners this fall at Glasgow Institute of Higher Education.
The former Socceroos boss was advised by the club to get involved in the local community, and introducing Glasgowians to Australian culture seemed like an ideal opportunity, but the club’s emphasis on an inevitable Europa League appearance has forced a change of plan.
“Aw buddy, I’m as hooked as a dilldong who just lost his woopwongle,” he told local reporters in bewilderment after the decision.
“It’s a real jallawalla kick, no jollikin ‘chook.”
“But it’s like my old grandfather used to chukka – sometimes you wake up the blooadang and sometimes the blooadang wakes you up,” as everyone nodded and wondered what they were talking about.
The club later announced that they would provide an interpreter at future press conferences to explain the antipodes gibberish of their new coach.
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